Currently caught in a state of confusion. While so much of this routine seems...well routine, I am still in shock that this has become my life again. The repercussions of chemo are starting to set in again-the metallic taste, weakness, exhaustion, bald head. I figured that since I had been through all of these before that it would be easier since I knew what to expect. But the truth is I had forgotten-or rather blocked out-how debilitating this whole experience is. Where it seems that every minute of my life is on hold again and not knowing when the play button will be hit again. Is it after this initial six rounds of chemo, will it be when I go back to work, will it be...???
I am also in a state of total befuddlement to explain the unexplainable...cancer TWICE before the age of 37-WTF!! How can I be terminally ill when I feel fine? How did they misdiagnose the liver cancer when I got tested six months ago? Will my cats out live me?
In the end, while I sit here on my couch with Oli and Sven all I do know (and need to know) is that in the immortal words of my sister, "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
That's right Lindsay, keep the bad jokes coming!! :)
ReplyDeleteBrooke
Vitamin water & macaroni and cheese
ReplyDeleteHere's a new goal - medical marijuana card. Then a whole new grocery store will open up for you!
Kristen
http://www.youngsurvival.org/find-an-affiliate/overview/
ReplyDeleteThis is a group for young women living with stage IV cancer. They work to further the research and education of it all. They also support each other. I know you have support, but I thought I'd pass this along in case you wanted to look for some more.
Much love, Heidi Leuszler
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